Top News

If someone only sees your function, they’ll never see your soul. We started believing it had to be earned. That to be kept, we had to keep doing. Doing the emotional labor. Doing the fixing. Doing the understanding, explaining, sacrificing. We began confusing love with usefulness. And it’s quietly breaking hearts. Because when you live like that, love starts to feel like a job review. You're constantly measuring your output, wondering if you’re still worth it. Still impressive. Still making their life easier enough to be allowed to stay. But here’s the truth that most people don’t hear until they’re tired, drained, and wondering what went wrong: love that depends on your usefulness isn’t love. It’s convenience. And convenience isn’t loyal. It walks away the moment you stop being easy.

But the Gita Saw This Coming
Thousands of years ago, the Bhagavad Gita gave us something most modern relationship advice still hasn’t figured out:
Your worth is in your being, not in your doing. Krishna doesn’t say, “Be good at everything and everyone will love you.”
He says, “Act according to your nature.” In other words, your truest self is enough. Not when it’s pleasing, not when it’s impressive—just when it’s real.
The divine message isn’t that you must become useful to be loved. It’s that when you live from your center, when you honor your own nature, the right people will recognize you. Not for what you give. But for who you are.

So Why Do We Keep Performing?
Because the world taught us to. Maybe your value was praised only when you were helpful. Maybe you were thanked more than you were understood. Maybe you started to believe that love was a kind of debt, and your usefulness was the only way to pay it. But here’s what we forget in all that performance: When you’re loved for what you do, you’ll always be scared to stop.
You’ll burn out trying to hold the relationship together with effort. You’ll shrink your needs to stay "low maintenance." You’ll try to be perfect. But perfection is a prison. And love doesn’t thrive in cages.

Real Love Doesn't Need a Reason
Real love doesn't make you earn it. It sees your heart when you’re not trying. It holds space when you're not helpful.
It’s not impressed by what you do—it’s moved by who you are. Because when love is real, you don’t have to be anything other than yourself to be enough.
That doesn’t mean love is passive or effortless. It takes responsibility. It grows. But it never demands that you perform in exchange for safety. It doesn’t give you a job description with your name on it. It simply says: You’re already enough. Even when you bring nothing but your presence.

What to Remember, Moving Forward
If someone loves your strengths but ignores your struggles, they don’t really see you. If they only show up when you’re useful, they were never showing up for you—only for what you could give. If love feels like a condition, it’s not love. It’s a contract. You are not here to be convenient. You are not here to be impressive. You are here to be whole. So here’s your permission slip to stop trying to earn love.
Stop shape-shifting into who they’ll appreciate more. Stop carrying more than your share to keep something from falling apart. Stop being useful at the cost of being seen. Let love find you where you are most yourself—not where you're most accommodating. Because the kind of love that stays? The kind that heals and holds and honors? It won’t come when you’re most helpful. It will come when you’re most you. And that’s the love worth waiting for.