In every movie, every breakup, every heartbreak, there’s this same plot twist that keeps showing up: closure. We’ve been taught it’s some kind of final chapter that needs to be written, an ending that somehow heals us. It’s the idea that, somewhere along the way, we’ll find a moment—a text, a conversation, an apology—that will make everything better. That’s what closure is supposed to be, right? But let’s be honest: that kind of closure never really comes. We keep waiting for it, like it’s an RSVP to a party we weren’t invited to. What if, instead of waiting for someone else to give it to you, you could find it in yourself? Here’s the surprising truth: closure isn’t about them at all. It’s about you.
The Bhagavad Gita’s Take on Closure: A Powerful Shift
You don’t need to have a Ph.D. in philosophy to understand this, but it helps to know that the Bhagavad Gita—an ancient text filled with wisdom—isn’t just about yoga or self-discipline. It’s also a guide to understanding how to let go. And I’m not talking about that “let it go” stuff you see on social media memes. This is real wisdom. Deep, impactful wisdom.
In the Gita, Lord Krishna speaks to Arjuna about detachment—not in a cold, emotionless way, but in a way that asks you to look within and ask yourself: Why do you need this external thing—whether it’s a person, a situation, or an outcome—to feel complete? And if you’re waiting for someone else to fix your emotional world, then you're stuck in a cycle that will keep you tethered to them. You’ll never be free, and you’ll never heal.
Real Closure: When You Stop Needing Them
The Gita teaches that attachment is the root of suffering. It’s not just about being attached to the things that hurt us, but also about being attached to the things that no longer serve us. We cling to the hope that we’ll get the closure we think we need. But closure isn’t something someone else can give you. It’s something you have to give to yourself. Think about it for a moment.
We’ve all been in situations where we felt like we just needed one last conversation, one last confession, one last explanation to make sense of everything. But the truth is, you don’t need their explanation to move on. What you need is to stop waiting for one. It’s about realizing that the narrative you’ve been holding onto—about them, about the situation—was never yours to begin with. You’ve been playing their story in your head, letting it define you, your emotions, your worth. But here’s where the shift happens: The moment you stop needing them to complete your story, you can begin to write your own.
The Realization: You Are Whole, Even Without Them
What the Gita emphasizes is the importance of self-sufficiency—of looking inward rather than waiting for the world around you to change in order to feel whole. This is where the magic happens: you realize that you don’t need someone’s closure to feel whole. You don’t need someone else to validate your feelings, your pain, or your journey.
You are the author of your own life, not them. The moment you stop looking for answers outside of yourself is when the true sense of peace settles in. It’s not about erasing them from your story. It’s about acknowledging that your worth was never tied to their presence or absence. Your happiness is not dependent on anyone else, no matter how deeply intertwined your lives once were.
The Path to Real Closure: It’s an Inside Job
Now, you might be thinking: “Okay, but how do I actually stop needing them?” It sounds so simple, but we all know it’s not. So here’s the thing: closure is not a singular event. It’s a practice. It’s a daily, conscious decision to no longer attach your peace of mind to someone else’s actions or inactions. It’s deciding, every day, that your healing isn’t waiting for someone’s apology, their explanation, or their presence. It’s deciding that you are worthy of peace, just as you are.
1. Let Go of the Need for Validation
Often, we keep chasing after closure because we want validation. We want to hear that it wasn’t our fault, that we weren’t wrong, that we deserve better. But, here’s a thought: what if you don’t need their validation at all? What if your peace doesn’t depend on them agreeing with you? When you stop waiting for that, you release yourself from the chains of needing to be right.
2. Stop Romanticizing the Past
The past is beautiful, yes, but it’s not where you live anymore. We often romanticize relationships, friendships, or situations that were never meant to last. But the past is a place to learn from, not to live in. The longer you stay stuck in it, the longer you delay your own growth.
3. Choose Yourself Every Day
Choosing yourself isn’t just a one-time decision. It’s an everyday practice. It’s saying to yourself, “I am enough, even without them. I am worthy, even without an apology.” It’s moving forward, even when it feels hard, knowing that you have everything you need to heal within you.
4. Embrace the Freedom of Letting Go
It’s freeing, really. The moment you stop needing them, you unlock your own potential. You open the door to new experiences, new growth, and new understanding. You step into the person you were always meant to be—unshackled, unburdened, and whole.
Closure is Not a Destination, It’s a Mindset
The Bhagavad Gita reminds us that the path to peace isn’t in someone else’s hands. It’s in ours. It’s in letting go of the things, the people, the stories that no longer serve us. True closure comes not from them returning or explaining themselves—it comes when you finally realize that you are the one who holds the key to your own peace.
So, the next time you’re waiting for closure, waiting for someone to fix things, remember this: you don’t need them. You just need to stop needing them. That’s where real peace begins. That’s where real healing starts. And when you get there, when you stop waiting for the “hello” or the “goodbye,” that’s when you’ll truly understand what closure means.
