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Staying sober is a lifestyle choice that many people make. Whether you’re recovering from addiction, conscious of your health, or simply don’t enjoy it, avoiding alcohol is a valid choice. Unfortunately, it can make certain social situations difficult.

That’s the reality one man on Reddit is coping with. In a recent posthe shared a frustrating situation where, as a non-drinker, he was expected to pitch in for the alcohol for a party. He didn’t think it was fair, but his friends disagreed.

A man who doesn’t drink was criticized by his friends after he refused to split the costs for a surprise party equally.

“One of my friends is organizing a surprise party for another friend at his own place. He invited me and my girlfriend, and neither of us drinks alcohol,” he explained.

The friend who was organizing the party had a strong stance on splitting costs and shared it in a group chat. “Everyone is going to split the costs equally, so even people who don’t drink, please don’t annoy me as I don’t want to be bothered with any calculations,” the host wrote.

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The Reddit user didn’t think this was fair, as the alcohol would make up a considerable chunk of the total cost. He volunteered to make any calculations, offered to chip in for other costs, like food and decorations, and said that he would be willing to cover the alcohol costs for the person being celebrated. Still, the host was unsatisfied.

“You don’t get it, this is a party and everyone splits evenly, it’s not about the calculations. It’s nothing personal. End of the question,” the host wrote in the group chat. The Reddit user then responded with, “No worries, I’ll pass,” and promptly left the group chat.

He added that another friend contacted him later to criticize his decision, calling his reaction “excessive” and arguing that he could “spare a few extra dollars.” Yet the man stood his ground. “If I were organizing, I would never force people to pay for something they don’t consume,” he insisted. “For me, it’s akin to inviting a vegan friend to a barbecue and forcing them to split the cost of the meat.”

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Commenters were split on whether the Redditor was in the wrong.

Some commenters agreed that the situation was unfair and that the user’s request was reasonable. “I don’t think it’s fair to expect someone who doesn’t drink to pay for alcohol,” one commenter wrote.

Others, however, sided with the host. “The party host is being fair, as some people will drink more than others, and some will eat more than others. They are simply saying, let’s spread the costs evenly,” another user commented. “What happens if you don’t drink, but eat more than everyone else? Are you upping your share for the food?”

“You aren’t paying for your drinks. You’re paying for the party, for being with others, for making a good time,” a third commenster pointed out. “It was the price of admission.”

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Some users even suggested there was more to the story, and that the Reddit user potentially had a habit of “nickel and dimming” his friends. To that, he clarified in an update that he has never been cheap with friends in the past. Others theorized that his friends have “grown to dislike him” because he doesn’t drink, an unfortunately common issue.

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Socializing as someone who doesn’t drink can be difficult, but genuine friends will support your choices no matter what.

Clinical social worker Amy Morin explained that when you quit drinking, people’s reactions vary, and they aren’t always supportive. Some may even respond negatively or phase you out of social situations.

“Your sobriety might serve as a reminder to your ‘drinking buddies’ that they’re consuming unhealthy amounts of alcohol, or stir up a bit of anxiety if they feel uncomfortable socializing sober,” she wrote. Or, they may simply want you to partake alongside them because they think you’ll all have more fun together when drinking.”

However, you don’t have to drink to have a good time when socializing, and true friends will be supportive of your sobriety. It may seem like most social events involve alcohol, but there are lots of fun and enjoyable alternatives that don’t. Coffee dates, movie outings, or sporting events are engaging activities that don’t necessarily prompt drinking.

Having a non-alcoholic drink in your hand can also make you feel more comfortable in social interactions. Water, soda, or juice are always good options, and many restaurants and bars offer delicious mocktails or non-alcoholic beverages.

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Kayla Asbach is a writer currently working on her bachelor’s degree at the University of Central Florida. She covers relationships, psychology, self-help, pop culture, and human interest topics.